Week 14 Story: Spoiled and a Show-Off
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| Duck Pond. Wikimedia. |
There once was a spoiled, little girl. She always got what
she wanted because her parents never told her “no”.
One morning, the little girl and her father were eating breakfast
when her mom came down stairs with a wrapped and decorated gift box. Today was
the little girl’s half birthday, and her mom got her a present.
Her mom set the gift down in front of the her and said, “I
wanted to give this to you at dinner, but I couldn’t wait! You should open it
now. Happy Half Birthday, sweetie!”
The little girl replied,“Okay!” Then ripped off the wrapping
in less than a second. “Oh my gosh! It’s sooooo soooo beautiful, I bet it cost
a lot of money, right? It did cost a lot of money didn’t it, Mom?”
Her mother nodded.
The girl asked, “I knew it was! So, can I wear it today to
school and show all my friends?”
“Of course,” her mother replied. The little girl trotted off to school to show off her new,
ruby necklace.
On her way, she always takes the same path. She goes one
block, crosses the bridge that is over the duck pond, and then there’s the
school.
Today when walking across the bridge she noticed a shiny and sparkly object in the water. It sparkled like her red ruby necklace.
She was excited and thought that maybe she found a diamond or crystal. So, she
squatted down on the edge of the bridge to look closer into the stream. Then
reached her arm out to grab the sparkly object, but she lost her balance and
fell into the stream.
As soon as she landed in the water she felt her necklace
fall off. She screamed, “My necklace!!”
The little girl searched and searched for hours and but
never found her necklace nor did she find the sparkly diamond. So, when she finally showed up to school, she was soaking wet and had no necklace to show off/brag about.
Authors Note: This storytelling post is based off the story of the “Dog
and His Image” from the La
Fontaine Unit. I wanted to have the same lesson in my story as the original,
and my goal was to exemplify how being greedy and taking more than one needs
can lead be detrimental. I used a similar ending as the original story, but I
changed everything else in my retelling.
Story Source: La
Fontaine Unit.
Hey Tori! I really liked your writing style. It was very clear and easy to understand. I actually expected this story to be longer than what it was. It was be nice to maybe know more details about the little girl. I actually sympathised with her because she did loose her necklace. It really makes you think between what is just and not.
ReplyDeleteHi Tori. I liked your story and I think it has a good message in it. When you had the little girl looking over the edge, I was definitely wondering if the “shiny thing” was just the reflection of the necklace. As if getting a ruby necklace on your half-birthday wasn’t enough! Ha! This story flowed easily and it was nice to read. Good job!
ReplyDeleteTori, I really enjoyed your retelling of this story. I did not read the original, but I still found your version very easy to follow. I thought your descriptions and writing were excellent as well, I would have liked to have read a little more about the girl's emotions as she walked into school sopping wet. All in all, great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Tori!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story “Spoiled and a Show-Off.” Further, I thought your story flowed very well. Also, I think you did a good job at incorporating dialogue between your characters I think it made your story just that much better. Additionally, the image you used complemented your story really well! Overall, I think you did a great job on your story and I can’t wait to see what you come up with next!
Hi Tori! I really love that your story was so short but still had a very valuable lesson on greed and vanity! I normally like stories with happy endings more, but with this one I think it's more important that the little girl learned something from her vanity. I would love to know what the reaction of her mom was to finding out that her daughter lost a piece of expensive jewelry.
ReplyDelete