Tori's Storybook Comment Wall
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| ("Thanks Everyone." Web Source: flickr) Hope you all liked my story! I appreciate your comments and feedback! :) |
Introduction of a Ravenclaw
My name is Victoria, but I go by Tori. I am a senior, and I graduate in May 2018. I am studying Business: Human Resources Management, and the Price College of Business is actually stopping this program after students graduate in May 2018. So, those graduating in May are the last ones to graduate with a degree in Business Human Resource Management from OU. It is sad to know the program is no longer going to be offered because I really have enjoyed it so far, but it is kind of cool to know that I will be one of the last ones to graduate with this degree from OU. My biggest accomplishment was balancing school, work, and activities. I enjoy staying busy and getting involved on campus and in the community. I work at a department of OU, The Center for Teaching Excellence, as a student office assistant. I have held my position there for over 2 years. Also, I participate in a few other organizations on and off campus. Over Christmas break I spent a lot of time with my family. ...
Hey Tori! I really liked the layout of your website. All of the links worked on the website and comment wall. Also, the website was really easy to navigate between the pages. The image choice was really spot on for your story. The topic was also very good. I like the idea the idea of Hera actually taking out her anger on Zeus rather than through his children. That generally seemed to be the theme in the Greek myths around Hera's revenge. I am really interested to see how the story unfolds in the future. There is just so many goddesses or mortal women for you to choose from when it comes to Zeus for the story. If you have not already checked out theoi.com for research on Zeus, I would definitely check it out. I am very interested to see how Hera will punish Zeus for what he did to her.
ReplyDeleteHi Tori. The banner on your website looks amazing, I'm impressed with your design and it seems like you really know what you are doing.
ReplyDeleteI like the story topic you chose. I am also a fan of Greek mythology and am trying to use it for as many of my prompts as I can, so I like seeing what other people are doing with the same starting material. Your story is very interesting, and I can't wait to see how you continue it. I like the idea of making the Greek gods into almost a sitcom where the stories revolve around the drama they cause. It is also a nice change of pace for the gods to attack each other directly rather than through their children or humans or however they normally would, I like that idea. I also like the way you've set up Zeus' character. The nonchalant, take it on the chin style seems to work well on him and I am interested to see how you develop him further. Good luck with the rest of your writing!
Tori,
ReplyDeleteI love your website design. The lightning at the top is great, very Zeus-like. I also liked how there was a line under “Ex” at the top, though I am not sure if it was intentional. Funny either way. The arrogant confidence on Zeus in your introduction was spot on to how I think he would act. Very much trying to own his wrong doings like he is in the right and Hera and Aphrodite are wrong for being upset. I also really appreciate how Hera has decided to take her wrath out on Zeus here. I’ve commented before in my reading notes about how I am not a fan of the repeating pattern of Hera punishing others for the wrong-doings of Zeus. But, since this is basically the opposite of how most Greek myths go, I am really looking forward to seeing how you tell the stories of Zeus’s exes where Hera “warns” them about Zeus.
Hello Tori!
ReplyDeleteI love Greek mythology, so reading your story was fun! I feel like I have read this scenario before, but I can remember where from. Nonetheless, it fits perfectly with the situation. Zeus trying to play it off was very fitting for his character. The picture you posted along with the story really gives him that 'cool guy' vibe, but also an arrogant vibe as well. I think it would be interesting if you added some dialogue for Aphrodite. Even if it wasn't as direct like Hera, but something subtle enough to know that Aphrodite also didn't approve of Zeus's actions. In a way, it came off that Aphrodite didn't mind as much that he was seeing other people. However, if this was your intention, perhaps add a line or paragraph where Aphrodite continues to meet with him. Overall, I really enjoyed your story and hope to read more later on!
Hey Tori!
ReplyDeleteI love the overall idea of your storybook. I think Greek mythology is so interesting, and you made it unique by incorporating ideas and stories into it that are modern. Your introduction really draws the readers in. I feel like it hints at what you are going to tell about, but it doesn't give too much information away. I thought your story "Victims of Seduction" was very well written. It was easy to understand and follow the storyline. The one thing that you may want to consider adding is to expand on the author's note just a little bit. I know that it seems pretty unimportant sometimes, but I am actually really unfamiliar with "The Seduction of Hera by Zeus." If we had a little bit more background, it would be easier for the reader to really connect the two stories. Was Aphrodite a part of that story, or did you add her in? I think its great that you added how you changed the perspective of Aphrodite in the story; I think that definitely gives her a better light. Overall, I think you did a really good job. I could not find anything that I would change, only adding onto the author's note. I am excited to read the rest of your stories!
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ReplyDeleteHi Tori! I was intrigued by the title of your story book. After reading your introduction, it got me excited to read more! This is such a modern (and funny) way of changing the narrative to where two lovers have a run in. I liked that your first story explained each of the girls' background. This helps us understand the story more. In your author's note, it'd help if you explained a short summary of the story before you say what you changed. I'm unfamiliar with it, so I know that'd help me! Are all the characters existing, or did you make any up? Did you change any of their personalities, or do you plan to? This is all info you could include in the author's note. Other than that, continue with the humor behind the two running in to each other because that's funny. Kind of a main and side chick feel (which our generation emphasizes too often probably). I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHi Tori,
ReplyDeleteI love Greek Mythology so I was really excited to read your storybook! I'm also Greek so its even better? Your banner image is very fitting and looks very nice. I also thought your introduction was spot on. One thing that I'm a little confused about throughout the introduction and first story is- I know that you are portraying the god's characters through humans, but are they sill gods/have godly duties? It's common in Greek mythology that the gods can take human form when needed so I'm wondering if this is what they are doing, or are they only human? A little more explanation into this would be great. I also think more explanation in your author's note would help develop the background of the story more! You did a great job describing the characters and I really like where it is going. I can't wait to read more!
Hi Tori! I really like your story concept of having the Gods of Olympus conflicts among each other told in a modern setting. I thought it was great how you made Zeus so calm and confident on the outside even though he knew he was in big trouble. I also really enjoyed how you let the reader know that he was super nervous on the inside but instead hid it from the two women. I do not really have any feedback for you on the story as it was great and I really enjoyed it. However, I do have some feedback on how you have setup your storybook. I found it hard to navigate through your different stories because of how you have hidden the other options in the navigation bar. I think that it looks great but its functionality is not all there. Other than that I think your storybook is off to a great start. I cannot wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteHi Tori!
ReplyDeleteI love the theme of your storybook. Zeus has frolicked with lots of gals so you definitely have ample sources to pull from. I'm not entirely sure, but I think it's more grammatically correct to say Zeus' rather than Zeus's. There are a few other grammatical errors that I spotted.
I like that you modernized Zeus and Hera. Have you thought about giving them modern names? Like 'Zane' or something. I like how you make Hera and Aphrodite really relatable. It seems like Aphrodite was really inspired to be seen as more than her appearance, but then she turns down executive positions... I feel like this part of the story could use a little more character development. I took it also could be interesting to add a little back story into how Zeus knew how to seduce women so well. At this point in the story, we've only been seen him be in a monogamous relationship for 12 years...
Hey Tori!
ReplyDeleteThis story, "Victims of Seduction," kind of starts off like a romantic comedy! The two most popular people in school vying for each others love! Although in real life, a boy wouldn't by a girl a bird to impress her; he would be in the corner wrestling with another boy! I'm glad Zeus found his unique way to Hera! You're right: Zeus is quite the womanizer! It's cool to read stories about greek gods and goddesses that are relevant and relatable! In high school, it was sometimes hard for me to relate to the characters because I didn't relate at all to them. It's refreshing to read about the characters in modern times. I wouldn't want to date a man like Zeus though because he is very untrustworthy! You did a great job with this story and I loved the way it was written! Keep up the good work!
Hey Tori! I really, really love the topic you are covering! I love learning about Greek Mythology and all the different Gods/Goddesses, their powers, and their personalities! I like the way you tackled the issue of Zeus having multiple partners and had your story revolve around Hera and Aphrodite figuring it out and confronting him. I also like how you told the story of Zeus meeting each of the women and how it was set in a more modern setting! The way Zeus got Hera to fall in love with him was cute; I like that the bird was what connected them in a way. Also, I like that you had Aphrodite be humble about her appearance and had her work for something that gave her respect based on what she could do, rather than her appearances. All in all, I loved this storybook and I can't wait to read the rest of it!!!
ReplyDeleteI will never not love a story about the womanizer Zeus. Your website is beautiful and so are your stories. I think you used gorgeous images in your banners. Even the titles of your stories are perfectly suited to their content. Your introduction shows Hera and Aphrodite confronting Zeus, but then the next chapter shows them meeting Zeus and falling in love with him. Is this meant to be some sort of flashback type moment? If so, I think it is well done. I can't wait to see how Hera and Aphrodite learn about each other and begin to scheme together to confront Zeus. Basically, I am eager to see what leads up to the introduction moment. Both Hera and Aphrodite are powerful goddesses, so I expect their story counterparts will be just as strong. I see you have a third page up, but it only contains an image. That image, however, almost feels like a spoiler. Do I sense some female solidarity coming? I can't wait to see what you do next.
ReplyDeleteHey Tori,
ReplyDeleteWow I couldn't stop reading your story. It was such an interesting story to read. I felt like I couldn't put down on of my favorite books. You have done a great job and enticing the readers and sucking them in to read more. I only wish you had another story up. I would love to read more. I can't wait until I can. I think you did a great job also a decorating your portfolio. It matches your theme very well. Seriously love your story. You had a great mixture of story telling and talking between the characters. Your story makes me want to go punch Zeus and tell him he is a horrible person. You really gave your story a lot of life. I did not see errors in your story. I am not always the best at picking out errors. Good job, cannot wait to read more.
Your title definitely won me over. I am such a sucker for Rom-coms. I thought that this was a very fun take on Greek Mythology because mythology can seem boring at times. But, there are so many different love lines between the gods that your storybook could go many different ways. Starting with your first story, I think the way the story was written. Starting with "Zeus knew..." made him out to be such a player. After reading into the mythology a little bit in your author's note, I can see why. It is also a fun idea to bring in the perspectives of the "ex-girlfriends." What gave you the idea to talk about Zeus? Also, setting the plot in a high school setting was a good idea because it makes the gods more humanlike. It is relatable for them to just be average people that we may have met in our lives. Good Job!
ReplyDeleteHey Tori!
ReplyDeleteI liked how organized your website design was! Also, the title hooked me in and got me interested for what was ahead! This was a really fun take on Greek mythology. You added an interesting modern twist that made it very easy to read and understand what was going on. The description of the settings was well done and the dialogue felt very natural. I liked how you organized the story into two halves, each presenting their own backstory. My question is whether there is the same hierarchy of power from the original Greek mythology? Since Zeus is the king of the gods, it would seem strange that Aphrodite not know who he was. Other than that, the structure of the story was perfect to tackle Zeus's many wives and how that would play in today's society. All the characters, settings, and plot was relatable and made the idea of polygamy less confusing to imagine. Great job!
Hi Tori! I really enjoyed your first story. I liked how it took the original and formatted it into a modern setting. It was a fun and original idea. I guess your second story is unfinished at the moment, so maybe make a note so others don't think their computers aren't loading it? The introduction was super fun and suspenseful! I made me really want to find out what was going to happen next. One thing: instead of saying "he replied..." "she said..." You can use action verbs to describe what they're doing. For example: She leaned up against the shelf, nodding. "You got a light?" He held out the lighter... Or something like that. This just helps break up the repetition that can happen with dialogue! Good work and I can't wait to see what happens!
ReplyDeleteHey Tori. I am from the Indian Epics section of the course but had taken the Myth and Folklore section last year so I can relate to your stories because I am sure I read the base story that you did it off of last year. I was really excited to read your storybook when I read your title so way to go on finding an exciting title to use and pull the reader in. I thought you did a good job of giving Zeus that personality that one would expect him to have in this story. I also liked how you broke up all the stories into small paragraph like format. Another simple but good idea that I was appreciative about was your use of bolding. It kept things organized well and made it easy to keep track of the story. I am excited for the next story of come out. I think it will be interesting to see what happens when the women get the stories straight and figure out what really is going on. Well done!
ReplyDeleteHello Tori!
ReplyDeleteYour first story I really enjoyed it about Zeus, Hera, and Aphrodite. The way you introduce your character and its characteristic were really awesome. I never read anything about Greek and this was the first time I am listening about Greek Mythology and it was really nice. The story was really nice making Zeus who is a womanizer and Hera and Aphrodite was looking for a nice guy who would not cheat but they did not know his real intention that sucked. What if you would show characteristic about him being a womanizer it would have been whole different story? It would be something different and the story would not change but it would have made more interesting. I hope the story just keeps on going like that and I get to read about what happen at between them. I really enjoyed your story and I will look forward to reading more of your story.
Hey Tori!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great story topic. Zeus is pretty much the worst, and that fact doesn't get enough attention. Your introduction made me very excited to see how events will unfold. One comment I have on your story, particularly the introduction, is about the formatting. I think the page would flow better if you put the dialogue on a new line, instead of including it in the paragraph. You could do the same thing for your second and third story as well. I really like how you told the way that Zeus met both of the women. Have you considered using first person to tell each woman's story from her own perspective? One more comment that I have is about your dialogue in the last episode. I think the dialogue is a little formal for a seemingly-modern conversation. Changing up the grammar and vocabulary may help the story feel more relatable and modern. Great work so far! I can't wait to see your next story.
ReplyDeleteHi Tori! I’m revisiting your storybook since the first time I did, and I love the progress you made. Your rendition of this storybook is funny and a very interesting take on the normal, classic Greek mythology. I see some of the changes you made from the last time I visited your website. The author’s notes are very helpful, so I’m glad to see you’ve kept up the good work on that. I’m not sure if you changed your website since the last time, but it looks really good. I still love your title and the overarching theme, because I feel like it appeals to millennials (like a lot of people say these days). I think breaking up the story with some more dialogue could be useful, but what you’ve done is super awesome so far! Especially since the last time I looked at your site. Great progress!
Hey Tori!
ReplyDeleteI was super excited to check back in with your project and see what other kinds of trouble Zeus has gotten into with his good looks and charm. Your progress is really great. You do a good job at describing the scene and the dialogue between characters is really nice. If I can remember from last time, you've made some changes to your layout and I think it looks great! I like that you author's notes are very informative so that the reader really knows the background of the story. Great work!
Hey Tori! First of all, nice project page! I love the image that you have picked as it fits your story very well. The simpleness of your page is also very nice. I like the drag down menu since it doesnt make the whole site look messy or anything. I also love and enjoyed the stories you have written. It is a very funny version compared to the normal version of the greek mythology that everyone is familiar with. Author's note is also very nice since I crossed over from the Indian Epics side of the class, so i am not very familiar with some of the stories. Overall very nicely done and keep up the good work. I will look forward to reading your next story!
ReplyDeleteHi Tori. I really enjoy how you've characterized the Olympian Gods/Goddesses. It's rather amusing and I feel like you've really captured their personalities in your writing. Hera was a vindictive woman, but Zeus was also a horrible cheating jerk! Aphrodite wasn't all sugar and spice either, so it's great to see them as less cruel women and more of victims that can be rooted for. Changing the normal characterization of Hera as often unjustly vengeful against his mistresses to her understanding the plight of other women who were wronged by Zeus is such an important change that really couldn't have been done back in the time the Gods were worshipped. It's awesome to see someone now change the story up to reflect a more modern mindset.
ReplyDeleteHey Tori!
ReplyDeleteI read your first story a week or two ago and I really enjoyed reading the second story. I enjoyed the organization of the dialogue and still love the theme of Zeus's lovers! You have put a lot of personality into your characters and they all seem very life-like and relatable. I liked the detail you put in, such as the hyperventilating, because it paints a more vivid image of what is going on in the story. One place to maybe expand upon is the setting. Not the description of the room or anything, but maybe the other people in the restaurant. Maybe they all look at the women discussing their troubles with Zeus or maybe the perception of that. It would add another layer of realism to the story. Other than that, I really enjoyed reading your follow up story and look forward to reading more in the future!
Hey there Tori!
ReplyDeleteThis was my first time seeing your stories and I absolutely loved them! I grew up hearing the Greek mythology stories and I really like the tone you have taken for your version. I remember when I first started really studying the Greek myths in college I realized that Zeus really does have the most ridiculous story of lovers. You have seriously put a lot of work into this and it is amazingly creative! I also like the design of your site and your blog! They look great. I hope I get to come back and read more!
Hi Tori! I really enjoyed your storybook! The dialogue is great, and you picked the perfect way to split the story up to leave little cliffhangers at the end of each section. Within each chunk of the story your pacing is also really well done, and it doesn't feel too slow or too rushed at any point, which is nice. I think your revenge story could pack a little more punch, and maybe show us Zeus's reaction? That's the most satisfying and cathartic part of revenge, and while I appreciate the focus on Hera and Aphrodite, I think it could help give us closure as readers to see what happens to Zeus and how the revelation of his philandering affects his life. Other than that, however, your storybook is fantastic! Your pictures are well-chosen and I like that you messed with where you put them in each story. Overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteHello again Tori!
ReplyDeleteI really loved reading your new addition to your storybook. I recently started watching Gossip Girl and I immediately got the reference! I love how you made it sound like a story found on the show and I could easily see the story unfolding like one of those juicy episodes. If any mythology was worthy of a Gossip Girl site, it would definitely by Greek mythology. So much back stabbing, he-said she-said, attempts at taking control, and hooking up with each other's girls and guys. It would be super fun to make the entire theme like a Gossip Girl site and have the Greek Gods as your subjects, but I really like how your storybook is now. You have clearly put in a lot of time and effort into making this project really nice. I hope to come back and read more!
Hi Tori! I'm excited to see how your story has developed. Your last one was a bit dialogue-heavy and could maybe use a little bit more description. In the first story, Victims of Seduction, perhaps you can add a line or something between Hera and Aphrodite's stories to make it more clear that you have moved on. It was really interesting, though, and I like how you added in the message alert so the audience could visualise it better. The cliffhangers really kept me intrigued, and I am glad to see Zeus got the ending he deserved! I like how you focused on Hera and Aphrodite, instead of including Zeus' reaction to the alert since the story is focused on the ex-lovers. Great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Tori! I like the concept of your storybook a lot. I have read a lot of Greek mythology and it always struck my feminist chord a little that Zeus just kind of roamed and did what he pleased even though he had a wife and everything. It is neat that you are giving the women a voice in this Storybook. I think you did a good job of setting up the dual backstories in the first story, and gave Zeus a really consistent narrative. I thought the way you exposed Zeus in the last story was clever, and the little news update in the middle of the story was cute. I would have liked to have had more descriptions of the emotions that Hera might of been feeling after being betrayed by Zeus. What are her plans for the future? What about Aphrodite? All in all, you did a great job!
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